This has happened before, a number of times. It had hurt then too. But all those times shadowing over the pain was a sense of happiness. A feeling that things are falling into the right place. So what makes it different this time? Why is the pain so much sharper? Why does it refuse to fade? Why is it increasing each passing moment? What is scaring her is the nagging feeling that this was the final time and but it was wrong, oh so wrong. She could feel it in every nerve of her body. The most painful thing is it is making her doubt the feeling of rightness all those other times, even her own. And that is cutting her most deeply. She didn’t want to stop following her instincts but what else is she to do?