Waking dream

Unable to sleep

My thoughts shift restlessly

Like a wall of rain

Seeking shelter from the darkness

I close my eyes

And dream

Of waiting for you

But I know

You are already gone

GOODBYE TO YOU TOO

Goodbye. I don't want you. I don't need you. Or anyone. I am happy here in my world. With the demons I invited in. They keep me warm. Atleast they don't hurt me anymore. Like I know you will. Like everyone before you did. Why should you be any different? It's me. Always me. That's the only kind of reaction I can provoke. It's beyond your control. You thought you could save me from myself. But did you ever ask me if I want to be saved. It's a web I have spun myself. And I have made peace with it. You can stop trying to rescue me. Just walk away.

GOODBYE

Does it really matter what I do or say. You have already made up your mind, haven’t you? And you are not going to change your mind. No matter what I do. The verdict has been passed even before I got a chance to make my case. You have your own logic at looking at things that no one else is privy to. Everything I do or say is going to be twisted. And bent into what you think I am doing or saying. You see the world with your own tinted glass. Tinted with red of rage and green of jealousy and sometimes dark blue of melancholy. And you have been wearing that glass for so long. Now it has become part of you. It has become you. You can’t take it off even if you wanted to. But then again that’s the way you want it to remain. So what’s the point of my staying. What’s the point of my trying to make you understand. Trying to tell you my side of the story. I am leaving your world, your demons. Will I look back? Will we ever cross path again? I don’t care anymore.

alone together

"I love your eyelashes" D said
And ran his finger over them
He stared at her face until T opened her eyes
To look straight into M
M smiled
Just the lift of one corner of his mouth
His secret smile for her
Her accomplice, her lover, her love
She smiled back
D gave a small laugh and looked away
Who was he trying to kid
He smiled at R sitting across the table
And acknowledged his "I told you so" look
And together they went back to watching people
Running about in the bustling station
And tried their best to ignore
the lovers melting between them

all the best kiddo

I wanted to ask her to run
Run as fast as she can
And not look back
NOW
Because this might be her only chance

She says she knows what she is doing
Says she has got a plan
I hope she also has a Plan B
Cause I have this sneaky feeling
That Plan A is never gonna get executed

Why this strong urge to protect her all of a sudden
I mean I have know her quite some time
Liked her instantly
And knew left to ourselves there won’t be any dearth of conversation
But we were never close
Never made any effort to take it further

So what really brought us together today
Sisters in crisis
While I am almost at the end of mine, hers have just started
Is this uncanny similarity in our situations that drew me to her
I want to protect her from all the hurt
Make sure she doesn’t make the same mistakes that I made
This feeling of déjà vu is scary

But something makes me stop and think
Am I doing the right thing
The situations might be similar
But they are not the same
The protagonists are different
The context is different
What if what was a mistake for me
Turns out to be the best thing that could possibly happen to her
Or maybe she needs to make those mistakes
And take away her own learnings from them
The truth is different for each of us, isn’t it

Maybe I should just back off and wait in the wings
Alert
Ready to prompt her if she forgets her lines
But always hoping that she sails through it all
And gets called back for curtain calls